KICK GUILT TO THE CURB

We often do feel guilt in the form of anxiety or unhappiness, that we have done something wrong to another person. In caregiver’s role you feel guilt when you feel that you are doing something wrong toward the person you are a care giver to. In the example of a mother to a child, the mother feels guilt when the child hurts themselves or isn’t able to be potty train as quick as other children. A child could feel guilt when their parent passes away and they sit there and think, ‘I wish I would have done this better or differently.’ Another example of guilt in a caregiver role is between spouses, where one wishes that they would have helped out more or fought less. So, as you can see that guilt is an easy feeling to have in a caregiver’s role.

The feeling of guilt is a quick feeling to encounter, but a difficult one to slow down, stop or eliminate. And once it starts it’s hard to stop unless you know how to or are aware of guilt over powering you. One of the best ways to stop this feeling of guilt is to STOP! That is where it becomes tricky for a lot of people because once the feeling of guilt starts you are already in the mad rush of life that you don’t give yourself the opportunity to slow down or stop to overcome this feeling! It is important to be one with the feeling of guilt and to be one with the situation that led you to this feeling, because if you don’t look at it in the eye stop it, then it just creates a snowball effect and gets bigger and bigger. Then two days, three weeks, four months or five years later you are still feeling guilty about what has happened.

Guilt can either hold you back from growing or it can show you what you need to do to shift things in your life!

Let’s look at an example of a child who just went from learning how to crawl, to walk and now is climbing. Once the child climbs the stool, he ends up touching the hot coffee pot or a pot on the stove. He didn’t know what was hot or not, he was just excited about climb up there and being able to see more! Now that he has touched the hot coffee pot and got a burn, you not only take him down and take care of him, but you also start to feel guilty about not being a good enough mom. You have done a GREAT JOB AS A MOM AND THAT IS WHY HE WAS ABLE TO CLIMB UP THE STOOL!!! He just didn’t know in the moment that he wasn’t suppose to touch the coffee pot, and you SHOULD NOT feel guilty about it, BECAUSE YOU ARE HUMAN!!! HOW TO BE A MOM DOESN’T COME WITH A MANUAL! LIFE DOESN’T COME WITH A MANUAL! No matter how much you prepare yourself there will ALWAYS BE A SITUATION THAT YOU WEREN’T PREPARED FOR, AND THAT IS ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!! We need to be okay with things happening and looking at it as a learning process for yourself and the person who you are a caregiver for.

Allowing yourself to drown in guilt with not better the situation, but worsen it, because that will make you crabby and drain your energy quicker. That is why it is important to STOP AND CATCH GUILT BEFORE IT SNOWBALLS INTO SOMETHING BIG AND UNCONTROLLABLE!! Because if you don’t, then it WILL OVERPOWER YOUR LIFE, WHICH YOU DON’T WANT IT TO!

It is important to have a mantra because repeating it over and over will help distract your mind. Distracting your mind is the key step to prevent the guilt snowball from growing! The mantra that I love to personally use and share with my clients is:

“I HAVE MORE POWER OVER MY LIFE THAN MY MIND DOES!”

Get into the habit of staying this mantra and taking deep breathes with you feel that you are being overwhelmed with guilt. So, it will feel something like this:

DEEP BREATH IN

DEEP BREATH OUT

“I HAVE MORE POWER OVER MY LIFE THAN MY MIND DOES!”

DEEP BREATH IN

DEEP BREATH OUT

“I HAVE MORE POWER OVER MY LIFE THAN MY MIND DOES!”

And as you are saying this really feel what you are saying, be in tune with what you are saying and put emotion into what you are saying. By repeating this 10 times, for 5 hours or for 8 days while living through your everyday life, you will notice that the guilt with become more distance and will just eliminate into a dark hole!

So, the next time you feel guilt coming upon you, STOP GUILT AND START SAYING:

“I HAVE MORE POWER OVER MY LIFE THAN MY MIND DOES!”

DEEP BREATH IN

DEEP BREATH OUT

“I HAVE MORE POWER OVER MY LIFE THAN MY MIND DOES!”

DEEP BREATH IN

DEEP BREATH OUT

“I HAVE MORE POWER OVER MY LIFE THAN MY MIND DOES!”

DEEP BREATH IN

DEEP BREATH OUT

“I HAVE MORE POWER OVER MY LIFE THAN MY MIND DOES!”

And see how different, uplifted and strong you feel!